It’s been a while since I haven’t posted an article in my blog. Actually I’ve some drafts that I’ve been working on lately but however it seems difficult to put my fingers on the laptop and compile the words. No defense, Procrastination at its finest.
Actually the main motive that drives me to write and post an article is for my own good deed. While I was writing, It was like I’m talking with myself. Contemplating is a tool for me to keep communicating with my deeper consciousness. It isn’t written based on the profound research, it only comes from my subjective point of view. Therefore I’m pleased for any feedback and discussion.
“You can’t control what you can’t measure or identify”
In this occasion I would like to discuss about a phenomenon that I called (or we know) as Quarter Life Crisis. Regarding on the Wikipedia, Quarter Life Crisis is :
“A Period of Life usually ranging from the late teens to early thirties in which a person begins to feel doubtful about their own lives, brought on by the stress of becoming an adult”
I know most of you (and me) probably are facing like chaotic feeling for becoming newly adult. In this article I would like to discuss what is really going on in quarter life crisis period. But before that, we’ll explore about the stages of life.
4 Stages of Life
Based on the definition from Mark Manson (source : Markmanson.net), life is divided into 4 stages :
1. Mimicry Stage
A stage that teach us how to function within society so that we can autonomous self sufficient adults. The adults in the community around us help us to reach this aim through supporting our ability to make decision and take action. This is stage one, mimicry : The constant search of approval and validation from the community around us. It creates the absence of independent thought and personal values
2. Self-Discovery Stage
The second stage requires us to begin making decisions for ourselves, to test ourselves and to understand ourselves what makes us unique. It is self discovery. We try things. The goal is to stick with the ones that go well and move on.
3. Commitment Stage
It’s the great consolidation of one’s life. You are focusing to strive the goals that you have been committed (in term of relationship, career, family, etc). In this stage you utilize your fully potential and strength.
4. Legacy Stage
The goal of this last stage is to create a legacy as much as simply making sure the legacy is beyond the one’s death by focus doing some things useful for the mankind or community around.
Quarter life crisis is happening in the Self-Discovery Stage start from late teen twenties to thirties. You are start for questioning yourself as becoming newly adult. Your life is mostly different rather than before.
Adult, The New Phase of Life
Once after you’ve graduated from college, your life would be completely different. The differences are in term of these following :
Your same-age friends shall be gone. You’ll entering the world which contain a bunch of people much older than you (probably more than 20 years older). Your friends will be gone and untouchable one by one. They will be busy with their own life like having family, working, etc. You’ll miss your partners in crime.
You are no longer be financially dependent. Your parent can’t pay your bills forever. They will be retired. You must making money to continue your life and become 100% financially independent.
You had girlfriend in a high school or college just for fun and expect an affection? That was fine, but not this time. Once you’re become newly adult and able to stand on your own feet you must reevaluate your relationship. You have to ready for the long term commitment on a girl, tie your knot on marriage (perhaps eternal commitment). You’re looking for a wife not a temporary lover. If you’re still single, you must keep looking the best one.
- Fully Independent In Making Decision
The good news is now you’re fully independent to make your own trail. When you was fifteen your parent might be pissed heard you said that you want to be an entrepreneur selling things rather than graduates from high school. Once after you’ve graduated from college you can do whatever you want such as : continue study, work for a company, be entrepreneur, musician, etc. But unluckily for the most of us who are in the stage of self-discovery, the abundant options will lead to the confusion.
Quarter Life Crisis in Self Discovery Stage
I’m a visual type person, I rarely read the novel or book without picture or graphs (except engineering books related to study or work). So that, I shall present what really happen in quarter life crisis period by mostly graphs and illustration (I think some ideas are easier to deliver by graphs rather than words).